Clay County

One town that I will always remember from my journeys throughout the Commonwealth is the lovely metropolitan Manchester, Kentucky. I was honored to be the project manager on the new Judicial Center to be built in Clay County. I'd like to believe I was given that honor because I was the most diplomatic, but in all actuality it was because I fit in with the good old country boys more than any other big-city, big-feeling boys from our office in Frankfort. My boss "Jerry Garcia" and I spent numerous late nights in Clay County, enough that my wife thought I had to be having an affair because nobody works for the State at 11:00pm. On the contrary, we always met after the meeting to discuss whether we won or lost at Pattie's Place, a local meat and three famous for their prime rib. Win or lose, our cholesterol was going up one way or the other. We got into some difficult situations there because there was so much arguing over site issues that we ended up tearing down their existing courthouse to build our new judicial center on that site. Jerry Garcia and I are both historically minded individuals, and our office is definitely not in the business of demolishing historic structures. But what the public didn't understand was the long nights we spent in Manchester trying to persuade the board members to make the right decisions. The public meetings got very heated and picket lines were even the norm during our tenure. One day an anonymous threat came to our office that if anyone from the state showed up in Clay County that evening that there would be "blood-lettin". Webster's doesn't have the definition of "blood-lettin" but I think it's Clay Countian for killing, ass-whipping, and the like. My friend BuffaloSprings probably knows the definition. To this day I haven't ever heard the term "blood-lettin" used again, but I am waiting for my own chance to threaten someone with it. Our office has court security personnel that are former state police, etc. and offered to send them to escort me. I told them that the Manchester boys would perceive that as fear, so I offered to pack my own heat and protect myself. While wrapping up the after-party that evening at Pattie's, Jerry was sitting with his back to a swinging door that led to a back room at Pattie's. Every time that the door would swing open quickly, Garcia would jump in his seat. The 300 pound waitress noticed Jerry's nervousness and quizzed him at why he was so jumpy. He told her that he was a pretty big target and that he was worried about getting shot. She came back with the best reply I have ever heard "I've seen um miss biggerns than you". I am still waiting to use this line also.

Head of household

Feminists take heed! My wife always hates it when I start off a sentence with " I don't mean to be a jerk..." and then proceed to be a jerk. She thinks that if I consciously know that I am about to be a jerk, then I should have the forthright to change what I am about to say. There is and always will be differences between men and women. Personally I never want to live in a World when there aren't any differences. I don't subscribe to the evolution theory but anyone who does should think that by now we would have 6'6" 250 pound women with calloused hands building our houses and towns, repairing our transmissions, and fixing the plumbing. On the other hand, men would be taking off for paternity leave. I never got any paternity leave, so I am tempted to call the ACLU.... Being tax time, I recently ran across the term head of household, and tried to truly understand what that means. Men are not only supposed to step up and be leaders in their jobs and communities, but also in their homes. I never had the father figure around to give me a daily lesson on how it is done, but I have many friends and mentors who have given me all of the instructions I need. My boss (if you're reading this I will be expecting a raise) showed me that no matter where you start out in life, hard work can overcome and make you succeed. Mr. Bossman also made me appreciate architecture, and taught me that a community is more than where you reside. My uncle, who has proven that being a man of faith and integrity will make your home and your heart prosper. My friend, buffalosprings (http://kentuckyskies.blogspot.com), who's brash bravado I admire because I believe a man should say what he means and mean what he says. My wife admires him for a completely different reason, the way he unconditionally loves his wife. You see, there's a difference, how I viewed him was completely different from my wife's. I never paid attention to that detail, but now I can see it. Men can be strong, but we also need to be able to love. I work daily to unconditionally love my wife the same way... By the way, I have recently learned that "unconditional" is my wife's favorite word.

scooters

Why do we love motorcycles? I believe every man at one point in his life has dreamed of owning a motorcycle. It could be the fact that it symbolizes what a man wants to aspire to. Some men want to be a cool rebel, and a Harley-Davidson gives them that. Some guys want to use it as a tool to attract women, and the crotch rocket gives them just that again. I myself have always wanted a bike, but have never owned anything other than a second-hand Honda scooter (not sure if that ranks in credit points with the Harley boys). You have to be secure in your manhood to admit that you even rode a scooter. Most wives (mine included) say that motorcycles are too dangerous, but I think they are more afraid that after purchasing one that you will either be doing wheelies past the pharmacy on Main Street or asking them to put on one of those leather g-string and halter top outfits and hop on the back. While being a fan of the motorcycle, I will never understand why some people think that after they buy one they are automatically accepted into the Hell's Angels. Every 55 year old accountant that can afford to drop $18,000 on a new Harley is not instantly a tough ass. Don't forget that while passing his CPA exam there was a kid toughening up by getting the crap kicked out of him for riding a red scooter in rural Kentucky.

Gubment work

While working for the state government, I have come to realize why most people resent state workers. Every time I tell someone I work for the state they ask one of the following questions: "who do you have incriminating photos of?", "who are you related to?", or "which part of the shovel do you hold?". So I started telling everyone I only work for the government. Doesn't that sound more intriguing? I could work in counter-terrorism or be a janitor at the governor's mansion. But no one ever questions government work, when people think of state work all they can think about is the 15 guys on the side of the road filling in one pothole. I will say that I don't work for the transportation department, nor am I a counter-terrorism agent (as much as I would like to believe). I do work in a situation that I feel actually gives something back to the taxpayers. Every project is left better than it was when we arrived. Am I saying there is no slacking in my office, certainly not. I have the unfortunate luck of working with some of the brightest and most ignorant people all under the same roof. Over the years there has been some great characters grace through the bureaucratic halls of Frankfort. While having a second job is not against personnel policy (as long as you fill out the proper paperwork of course), our secretary who moonlighted as a prostitute probably took it to an extreme. We also had an individual that was put on probation for firing up a left-handed cigarette at a conference in front of several managers. Instead of being fired, he got the opportunity to get some help. Instead of taking the rehab, he decided to threaten people in writing about "whooping the pussy that ratted him out and killing anyone else that had a problem with it". Suprisingly, they were both fired. The moral of the story is you have to really screw the pooch to be fired from state government. That is why state workers have such a bad name. There can be eye witness accounts, expert witnesses, and even video of you not doing your job, but unless you commit a crime you will never be fired. I tend to toe the line with the grace of a ballerina. It is my belief that if you act crazy enough, the upper management will be too afraid to fire you. Thinking that you could go postal at any minute. It was also a good move that I let it be known to my management team that I am usually armed, I am a card carrying republican, and that I had a rough childhood (not to mention my Napoleon complex that I have from being a vertically challenged man all of my life). Any shrink would testify to that being a recipe for disaster. That is my only solution of dealing with the bureaucracy that comes along with working for the gubment.

Grey sweat pants

Women, guys never want to see you come to bed in grey sweat pants. When guys see grey sweat pants they think of Rocky Balboa chasing chickens. First of all, I have a beautiful wife. While getting ready for work in the mornings, I see what she puts on. All day long I am thinking of her in her latest Victoria's Secret purchase. Instead of discovering what the secret is later on that evening, I hear the "eye of the tiger" start playing when she walks into the room in her sweat pants. My wife always tells me that it's about the comfort, and that I shouldn't care what she wears to bed. If it is about the comfort, then every woman would go to bed naked. No clothing in the world feels as comfortable as nakedness. Women should just understand the power of lingerie, that's all I'm trying to say.

Introduction

Hello and welcome to my blog. Contained herein will be all my thoughts and feelings involving all aspects of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. I am a white male, married with one son. I work/non-work for state government. Home is the Commonwealth of Kentucky. Some say that I am arrogant, some say I should write a book, here is where those things come together.