Gubment work

While working for the state government, I have come to realize why most people resent state workers. Every time I tell someone I work for the state they ask one of the following questions: "who do you have incriminating photos of?", "who are you related to?", or "which part of the shovel do you hold?". So I started telling everyone I only work for the government. Doesn't that sound more intriguing? I could work in counter-terrorism or be a janitor at the governor's mansion. But no one ever questions government work, when people think of state work all they can think about is the 15 guys on the side of the road filling in one pothole. I will say that I don't work for the transportation department, nor am I a counter-terrorism agent (as much as I would like to believe). I do work in a situation that I feel actually gives something back to the taxpayers. Every project is left better than it was when we arrived. Am I saying there is no slacking in my office, certainly not. I have the unfortunate luck of working with some of the brightest and most ignorant people all under the same roof. Over the years there has been some great characters grace through the bureaucratic halls of Frankfort. While having a second job is not against personnel policy (as long as you fill out the proper paperwork of course), our secretary who moonlighted as a prostitute probably took it to an extreme. We also had an individual that was put on probation for firing up a left-handed cigarette at a conference in front of several managers. Instead of being fired, he got the opportunity to get some help. Instead of taking the rehab, he decided to threaten people in writing about "whooping the pussy that ratted him out and killing anyone else that had a problem with it". Suprisingly, they were both fired. The moral of the story is you have to really screw the pooch to be fired from state government. That is why state workers have such a bad name. There can be eye witness accounts, expert witnesses, and even video of you not doing your job, but unless you commit a crime you will never be fired. I tend to toe the line with the grace of a ballerina. It is my belief that if you act crazy enough, the upper management will be too afraid to fire you. Thinking that you could go postal at any minute. It was also a good move that I let it be known to my management team that I am usually armed, I am a card carrying republican, and that I had a rough childhood (not to mention my Napoleon complex that I have from being a vertically challenged man all of my life). Any shrink would testify to that being a recipe for disaster. That is my only solution of dealing with the bureaucracy that comes along with working for the gubment.